1. Communicate – Most teams, including teams at home, break down because of poor communication. Where there is a void in communication negativity fills it. Frequent and positive communication fills the void and begins the process of building trust. You can’t have a great team without strong relationships and you can’t have strong relationships without great communication and trust. Leaders must communicate with team members individually and collectively as a team and team members must enhance their communication with each other.
2. Connect – While communicating begins the process of building trust, connecting is what creates a bond of trust. Many teams communicate but the great ones also connect. They form bonds of trust that strengthen relationships and the team. They go deeper, below the surface level of communication, and communicate and connect in a more intimate and powerful way. Getting to know your team members, being vulnerable, sharing experiences together, facing challenges together, and working on projects together are a few ways to connect.
3. Commitment – Without communication, connection and commitment your team will not perform at a high level. Communication and connection build the trust that generates the commitment that fosters the teamwork that delivers results. Great teams are not only committed to doing great work. They are also committed to each other. They put the team first and are willing to serve and sacrifice for the benefit of the team.
4. Care – When you care you give a little more time, a little more effort, a little more energy, and a little more love to the things and the people you care about. You may be a good team but to be a great team I encourage you to care just a little more. Care about the work you do and how it contributes to the team. Care about the people you work with. Care about the mission of your team. Those who care build great things that others care about.
5. Contagious Energy – Of course I’m talking about contagious positive energy. Great teams are filled with positive energy and it’s important for each person on the team to know that they are contagious. If you’re moody your negative energy is contagious and makes it hard for others to trust and feel comfortable around you. If you are positively contagious you make everyone around you better. There’s no “i” in team but there are two “i” in positive. This means “I” must be positive to be my best and “I” must be positive to help my team be our best. As a team member you can be a germ or a big dose of vitamin C to your team. Choose to be positively contagious. by Jon Gordon
One of the fun parts about writing is going back in time and looking at some of the things you wrote about. Some things you wrote about in the past just don’t seem relevant at all. Then there are things that stand the test of time and seem to make even more sense today. In early November I wrote a post titled ,”Yesterday, Hockey Won”. http://hockeysummit.blogspot.com/2013/11/yesterday-hockey-won.html A lot of people seemed to like it at the time and I received some really nice feedback on it. This entry is to follow up on that piece and I am happy to declare that yes, hockey did win. In November of this past season, the team I have helped coach this season, the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Knights u18s played team Comcast who had tragically lost a teammate just days earlier. As I chronicled in the earlier blog post, I was amazed at the resiliency of Team Comcast as they valiantly battled and lost a heart breaking game to our team 5-4. Obviously the results of that game were not important compared to what they were dealing with as individuals and a team mourning the loss of a close teammate. In my opinion hockey did win that day and gave the boys a platform to come together and try to begin a long hard healing process. So how does that story relate to today? Fast forward to this past weekend. The same two teams were locked in a tie for points and playing a deciding game in Wilkes Barre with a winner to go on to playoffs and a loser eliminated from the post season. The entire season came down to one game. The coaching staff, parents and players from Team Comcast obviously had done a remarkable job pulling together and playing hard all season long to give themselves a chance to be in that position and continue their season. As the game was about to start and intensity filled the arena, I remember looking down at their goal and watching their team all kneel down in a circle with their heads down. I am sure it was to acknowledge their lost teammate. I felt myself get lost for a second in that moment. I forgot we were about to play a game. I found myself thinking of all they had been through. Thinking of those boys becoming young men and somehow learning to deal and cope with what they had gone through. Wondering how they got through it. Then the puck dropped……. The game went on. Life went on. In that earlier blog post I wrote about the healing properties that I believe exist in hockey. Never was my belief so validated than on Saturday. Team Comcast came into our team’s building and managed to win the must win game 3-0. They played hard. They played smart. They played together. They deserved to win. Now of course I was upset for our guys. They played hard all season and wanted to win desperately. I wanted to win desperately. That is what players and coaches are supposed to do. But after the sting of losing wore off and I was driving home it hit me…… Maybe we all won. Certainly Team Comcast did. They accomplished a great deal. Those young men should be very proud of sticking together and doing what they had to after their loss of a loved one. A pain like that will never go away completely, but they played the next game. And then the next one. And then the next one….. But I was thinking of our team too. I was looking for a positive from being eliminated the way we were and what I came up with was this; I hope our team learned a lesson that they can take with them the rest of their lives from our opponent this weekend. Not just a hockey lesson, a life lesson. The lesson being that in life bad things can and do happen. Sometimes very tragic things. But you can’t quit. You can get through things with friends, with loved ones, with family…….with teammates. No matter what comes your way stick together. You can be ready for the next puck to drop…..That is what I hope our guys learned. If they did, maybe our team won too….
You have to get up earlier than you want to get up.
You have to give more than you get in return right away.
You have to care more about others than they care about you.
You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore.
You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter.
You have to lead when no one else is following you yet.
You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is.
You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have.
You have to grind out the details when it’s easier to shrug them off.
You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option.
You have to search for your own explanations even when you’re told to accept the “facts.”
You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot.
You have to try, fail and try again.
You have to run faster even though you’re out of breath.
You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you.
You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable and deliver results that are unparalleled.
You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong.
You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you.
You have to do the hard things. The things that no one else is doing. The things that scare you. The things that make you wonder how much longer you can hold on.
Those are the things that define you. Those are the things that make the difference between living a life of mediocrity or outrageous success.
The hard things are the easiest things to avoid. To excuse away. To pretend like they don’t apply to you.
The simple truth about how ordinary people accomplish outrageous feats of success is that they do the hard things that smarter, wealthier, more qualified people don’t have the courage — or desperation — to do.
Do the hard things. You might be surprised at how amazing you really are.
I once again pulled 7 random goals from last nights games in the NHL.
Just like before, focus on the guys driving the net and where the goals are scored from. The goalies at that level are just too hard to beat cleanly and to score you have to be willing to go to those tough areas. Watch these clips and focus on the guys willingness to drive the net. Ask yourself if you are doing the same……. Sometimes it is not the goal scorer but the other guys who are doing it so someone can score.
90% of all goals are scored with someone in front or driving the net hard. It is the simplest thing you can do to become an effective player.
Although it is early to be thinking about selecting people for next year’s teams, that time will be here before you know it. I love these words of wisdom from Coach Mike Krzyzewski that came from him during the period of him selecting the 2008 men’s basketball team that won the gold medal. Maybe we can all learn something from Coach K when picking a team or doing business….
Take The Time
“Take the time to choose your people. In doing so, be sure that you are asking the basic but most difficult questions. Let the answers to those questions guide the selections that you make.
Remember that choosing your people is the first decision you will make as a leader. Take the time to make it a good one. Great teams start with a base of talent but consist of a mixture of experienced people who bring instant credibility and institutional understanding, and young players who bring energy and keep you fresh. But be sure that all these individuals are united by a foundation of character that will make them want to give of themselves to be a part of something bigger.
In choosing your people, remember also that you are establishing the foundation for trusting relationships. Take the time to conduct personal interviews, face to face when possible. Lay everything on the line. Be forthright about what is expected, and don’t be afraid to let your people know a little about who you are and why you believe in the team cause. These initial meetings are the first indication of how your team members will communicate with one another.
Leaders sometimes get caught up too early in what the mission will be. And the mission is crucially important. But your team’s people are the ones who are going to accomplish that mission. Before you get into the details of your strategy, your X’s and O’s, you have to decide who is the X and who is the O.”
Happy New Hockey Year. Hope you work to make it a great one!
20 Tips To Help Make 2014 A Great Year 1. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible. 2. Take a morning walk of gratitude. I call it a “Thank You Walk.” It will create a fertile mind ready for success. 3. Make your first meal the biggest and your last meal the smallest. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 4. Zoom Focus. Each day when you wake up in the morning ask: “What are the three most important things I need to do today that will help me create the success I desire?” Then tune out all the distractions and focus on these actions. 5. Talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself and feed your mind with the words and encouragement you need to keep moving forward. 6. Remember that adversity is not a dead-end but a detour to a better outcome. 7. Don’t chase dollars or success. Decide to make a difference and build meaningful relationships and success will find you. 8. Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte. 9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in your purpose, people and the positive present moment. 10. Mentor someone and be mentored by someone. 11. Live with the 3 E’s. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy. 12. Remember there’s no such thing as an overnight success. There’s no substitute for hard work. 13. Believe that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences. 14. Implement the No Complaining Rule. Remember that if you are complaining, you’re not leading. 15. Read more books than you did in 2013. 16. Don’t seek happiness. Instead decide to live with passion and purpose and happiness will find you. 17. Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation. 18. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished____________. 19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants. 20. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it. Happy New Year Everyone!
Just a little post about the power of believing in yourself.
The Bayonne Bleeder
You have to believe in yourself so strongly that you are willing to bank on it.
Chuck Wepner never learned this lesson. As a boxer he earned the name “the Bayonne Bleeder”, due to the punishment he took even while winning. In the boxing world he was what was called a “catcher” a fighter that uses his head to block the other guy’s punches…..Wepner continually pressured his opponent until he either won or got knocked out. He never cared how many shots he had to absorb until he could deliver a knockout blow to his opponent. His trainer Al Braverman called him, “The gutsiest fighter I ever met. He was in a league of his own. He didn’t care about pain or embarrassment. If he got cut or elbowed he never looked at me or the referee for help. He was a fighter in the purest sense of the word.”
When Wepner knocked out Terry Henke in the 11th round in Salt Lake City, promoter Don King offered Wepner a title shot against then heavyweight champion George Forman. But when Ali defeated Forman, Wepner found himself scheduled to fight ‘The Greatest’. Mohammed Ali!!
On the morning of the fight Wepner gave his wife a pink negligée and told her she would soon be sleeping with the Heavyweight Champion of the World.
Ali scored a technical knockout with only 19 seconds remaining in the fight. But there was one moment, one glorious moment in the ninth round when a ham-like paw to Ali’s chest knocked the reigning champion off his feet. Wepner recalled, “When Ali was down I remember saying to my ring man Al Braverman, ‘Start the car we’re going to the bank, we’re millionaires!!’ and Al said to me, ‘You’d better turn around…..because he is getting up….’
After the fight, Wepner’s wife pulled the negligee out of her purse and asked, “Do I go to Ali’s room or does he come to mine?”
That story would be nothing more than an odd boxing footnote except for the fact that a struggling writer was watching the fight. Suddenly it struck him, “there it is!” he said to himself. So he went home and started writing and he wrote for three days straight.
That is how writer and actor Sylvester Stallone described the birth of the Academy Award winning movie Rocky.
The movie studio offered the struggling writer an unprecedented $400,000 for his script. But Stallone refused the money, choosing instead just $20,000 and the right to play the part of Rocky for actor’s minimum wage, a paltry $340 per week. He felt strongly that this script and part would catapult him to fame and fortune. He was right.
The studio also made an offer to Wepner since the movie was based on his life. He could receive a flat fee of $70,000 or 1% of the movies gross profits. Wanting the guaranteed payday, Wepner took the $70,000, a decision that ultimately cost him $8,000,000.00………
Chuck Wepner retired to Bayonne, NJ and worked as a liquor salesman.
The moral of the story? A few of things I guess……..
1. Marry someone with a good sense of humor.
2. You never know what your individual efforts will lead to or what results will come from your hard work.
3. Be willing to bank on yourself. Happy New Year!
“The gift that keeps on giving the whole year.” Anyone who has seen the Holiday Classic, Christmas Vacation, recognizes the significance of the title of this blog. If you have not you can watch the video clip posted at the end. It never gets old…. Here is a great last minute gift idea for anyone who needs one. This is a unique gift that you can both give and receive at the same time. …It costs nothing and can last not just for a month, but forever.
Recently I was given this early Christmas gift. I doubt the person even thought they were giving me anything…… I was paid a compliment by someone who I have become very close with. They told me that they appreciate my friendship and advice and that I was a good ‘Mentor’ for them. The feeling I got from that was as nice a present I have received in a long time, maybe ever. It made me think of all the many ‘Mentors’ I have had in my life and the ones that are now new to it as well. It really is a great gift. Either being a Mentor or being Mentored is something to be treasured. So this week I decided to look into further. What exactly is a ‘Mentor’? You know you are on to a good topic when the word you are going to focus on is both a noun and a verb.
1men·tor
noun\ˈmen-ˌtȯr, -tər\
: someone who teaches or gives help and advice to a less experienced and often younger person
2mentor
transitive verb
: to teach or give advice or guidance to (someone, such as a less experienced person or a child) : to act as a mentor for (someone)
The word comes from the Greek epic poem The Odyssey. Before Odysseus leaves for the Trojan war, he asks his old friend Mentor to look after his family and his home. When Odysseus returns home twenty years later and needs some divine assistance, the Goddess Athena comes to his aid in the form of that same wise trustworthy man, and offers Odysseus advice and counsel. The idea to which this reliable old friend unwittingly lent his name has been passed on to us in the form that hasn’t changed much since those times. And as Odysseus did, we often find those close to us being our ‘Mentors’. You can make a conscious decision to become a ‘Mentor’. To sit down with someone and share wisdom, encouragement and experience. That is ‘mentoring’. You can also become a ‘Mentor’ when someone else chooses to learn from you. Both unique, both are forms of ‘mentoring’ and both are special gifts. People sometimes never even meet their ‘mentors’. They can even be from the past. That is what is incredible. You can be and also find sources of inspiration and guidance and never have interacted with the other person. ‘Mentoring’ also involves receiving. It is acknowledging that you need help, guidance and instruction as well. That is one of the wonderful things about aging. You begin to realize that you should have been more open to being mentored when you were younger. I know I sure do. And now there is something you can do about it. You do not have to be perfect to be a ‘Mentor’. ‘Mentoring’ is not just about celebrating your own insight but about sharing wisdom. When you pass on the lessons of your life with someone else, it’s not you who are teaching, but your experience. ‘Mentors’ are not heroes. A hero is someone you idolize. While a ‘Mentor’ is someone you respect. A hero earns our amazement. A ‘Mentor’ earns our confidence. A hero takes our breath away. A ‘Mentor’ earns our trust. ‘Mentors’ do not seek to create a new person, they simply seek to help a person become a better version of himself. ‘Mentors’ are primarily concerned with teaching. And a teacher is there to inspire.
There are many coaches I played for over the years who are now ‘mentoring’ me and they don’t even realize it.
Over the course of a hockey season so many things happen in practice, during games and yes even away from the rink. Good times. Bad times. Ups. Downs. Challenges. Accomplishments. Setbacks….. It is funny how a hockey season in its’ entirety is much like a microcosm of life. Hockey needs coaches, and life needs ‘Mentors’.
If you look hard, they are all around us. It is never to late to be ‘mentored’ and you are never too old to be a ‘Mentor’. Never.
The example of Nelson Mandela and his recent passing comes to mind. I read a lot of the features on him and his leadership over the course of the last week and was inspired by things I did not know about him and his life. That is the thrill of coaching. To give the advice that took a lifetime of going through things and being able to share it.
Some of the greatest coaches of all time have cited some of their ‘mentors’ as people from history not just the world of sport. All sorts of unique and special people from all walks of life. People like Abraham Lincoln, Mother Theresa, Winston Churchill, John Kennedy…..etc. And yes, even Clark Griswold…… So I hope this gift idea is one you share with other people and one that you are open to receiving. Give someone the gift of letting them know that they are a ‘Mentor’ to you. It feels great. Jelly is good too!!! Happy Holidays!
Just a little follow up piece on the post from a while ago about teams and people going through difficult times.
I saw a lot of Canadian Geese heading south over the last few days while I was travelling. So of course, originally being from Canada, it made me think of this and how it related to the topic on difficult times and sticking (flying) together: When you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in a “V” formation, you might be interested in knowing that science has discovered why they fly that way. Research has revealed that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately behind it. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. (People who share a common direction and sense of community get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are travelling on one another’s thrust.) Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone. It quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front. (If we as people have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation and so will those who are headed the same way we are.) When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the “V” and another goose flies the point. (It pays to take turns doing the heavy lifting….) The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. (Are we positive when we honk from behind?) And finally, when a goose gets sick, or is wounded by gunfire and falls out, two other geese fall out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with the goose until it is either able to fly again or dead, and then they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up to their group. (If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other like that when times are tough……)
So when things are heading south…..fly together. And who says nature doesn’t relate to hockey??? Have a great week!
“When you play long enough, everybody goes through spells and streaks and slumps of some nature. I think it’s just one of the those things where you have to play yourself out of it.” Mark Messier
Losing streaks. Adversity. I suck. You suck. He sucks. We suck……. Everyone. Every team. Every sport. Every season. There always has been losing streaks and slumps and there always will be. Teams lose just a sliver of confidence, coaches and players start to press, and soon 1 or 2 losses becomes losing 7 out of 8 or 10 out of 13……..It is just part of the game and one of the challenges both players and coaches must confront and deal with to find a way to get back to winning. Currently, the team I am helping coach is going through one of those tough patches. Things just aren’t clicking. But I do know that we will get through it and be better because of it.
“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.”
Pat Riley
Believe me…..I have seen my share of losing streaks. At the time they seemed horrible but looking back I now realize there were tremendous lessons learned from those times. That is what this blog is going to focus on today. One of the great blessings I have had in life has been to play for some great coaches as well as with some incredible players. They shared a lot of their wisdom when it comes to dealing with slumps. They gave me some ideas as well as some quotes from some legendary coaches.
“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” Lou Holtz
First some amusing stories about losing streaks, if that is even ok to say…. Once upon a time I played for for the expansion Ottawa Senators. We were very challenged with some young and inexperienced players and simply just not a very good hockey team. At one point of the disastrous season, we were on a 14 game losing streak. One game we were losing after two periods to the Boston Bruins 6-0 and it should have been 12-0…. An older, veteran player on the team stands up amid the chaos of the dressing room and screams the following: “Guys, guys…..sit down!!! Relax, we have to settle down……..We are not that bad! We are not that bad!……..We just play in a really good league!!!!!…….” Needless to say that broke up some of the tension.
“How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine what you become after the game, whether you are a winner or a loser.” Lou Holtz
Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies was once asked by a reporter what he thought of his team during a losing streak.”It is beyond my apprehension.” One time coach of the Vancouver Canucks, Harry Neale was famous for saying, “Last season we couldn’t win at home. This season we can’t win on the road. My failure as a coach is I can’t think of any place else to play.” John McKay was the coach of the then expansion team Tampa Bay Buccaneers of the NFL. They were absolutely horrible when they first entered the league and were on a huge losing streak. When asked, “Coach, what do you think of your team’s execution today?” McKay quipped, “I’m all for it”. These are funny quotes but anyone who has ever coached can surely relate.
“Losing streaks are funny. If you lose at the beginning you got off to a bad start. If you lose in the middle of the season, you’re in a slump. If you lose at the end, you’re choking.” Gene Mauch
So what can coaches do about slumps or losing streaks? The common thing that I was told was to try to find a way to re-create confidence but don’t over-coach. There is no sense trying to install a new forecheck system or powerplay when the team is not in a good frame of mind to learn anything new. Just try to get back to basics in practice and be as repetitive with simple things as possible. Doing the little things correctly will help build back the confidence that players need to play well.
“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. ” John Wooden
Another tip for the coaches…….Stay calm. If you exude confidence, your team will get its own back. It’s just a matter of time, practice and trying to remain patient. Remember coaches, we are not only teaching players how to overcome adversity in the game but also in life.
“If you’re going to make every game a matter of life or death, you’re going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot.” Dean Smith
Now some advice for the players who might be going through some tough times.
“Slump? I ain’t in no slump — I just ain’t hitting.” Yogi Berra
It is important to realize the reality of the situation and address it. Yes you are playing bad or the team is struggling but this happens during a season and you will need to do a few things to adjust. But realize that it is only a small snapshot of the entire year.
“You’re never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you’re never as bad as they say when you lose.” Lou Holtz
One of the common pieces of advice that good players shared with me was that you need to stop pressing. Relax and get back to having fun playing. Easier said than done right?? But remember, that is the reason everyone started playing in the beginning correct? To have fun. Being in a slump is not fun, so combat that by trying to find a way to enjoy the game again. I am not in any way discounting the importance of hard work. That is clearly the most important trait of any great player is their ability to work hard and work their way through tough times. There is no substitute for that. But what has to happen is that work has to become ‘fun’. The amount of work must be looked upon as an enjoyable way to fix your problems……. You know you have to work out of the slump but why not have fun doing it? Do you ever remember being six or seven years old and being in a slump? No. You were just playing. Having fun. Strive to get that feeling back. If you can, focus on the times you played really well. If possible watch video of you and your team playing well and having success. Now that is fun!
“You’ve got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going cause you might not get there.” Yogi Berra
Much like coaches, players should try to simplify during these times. Get back to some very basic things. Just make the most simple of plays. Over and over and over again until things start to get better and confidence returns. Practice hard, but routinely do something simple with perfection and that will slowly and surely translate into the rest of your game.
“Keep it simple, when you get too complex you forget the obvious. “ Al Maguire
I hope this helps both coaches and players out there alike in some small way. Slumps are never fun but they are also never fatal. I also really hope our players read this blog………we are running out of places to play! 🙂 “Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. Sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.” Vince Lombardi And remember, every team goes through stuff…..
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